COPIUM

Inhale. Deny. Repeat.

The official cope of the internet: for losses and facts that hurt your feelings.

Definition

Cope + 0pium. Obviously.

Copium is the metaphorical tank you crack open when reality refuses to cooperate. Denial, delivered with style.

“It’s not over. The chart just needs one more candle. My thesis is intact. I meant to do that.”

— every regard, mid-inhale

Dosage guide

Pick your strength.

Match the intensity of your denial to the size of the L.

  1. 2mg

    Mild Hopium

    For when you’re only a little delusional and “it’s still early.”

  2. 20mg

    Industrial Cope

    For trades so bad, Mild Hopium filed for bankruptcy.

  3. 200mg

    Main Character Syndrome

    For when the plot twist was supposed to be yours.

Open enrollment

Your first hit is free.

Drop your email. We’ll send prescription-strength cope when the next batch clears the lab.

No spam. Just denial, occasionally.